Tis the season of love. Valentine is tomorrow. And unlike years before, we think the rave is unusually high this year. Perhaps it’s just us, but since the beginning of the month, everything seemingly points to the 14th. From church sermons to social media conversations to advertisements, everyone’s caught the love bug.
Also, have you noticed the stratospheric prices of gadgets, hampers, and gift boxes? In this Buhari’s economy? People were hoping to do better with gifts this year and move on from gifting singlets, boxers, and silk flowers, but inflation has them in a chokehold.
Inflation or not, we are shooting our shot and chilling with the big boys this year. Here are a few companies we would love to be our Valentine:
My Patricia, ever heard of Pont des Arts in France, aka the bridge of romance? Couples often attach engraved padlocks to the sides of the bridge then throw the key in the river as a gesture of eternal love and devotion. Patricia, we want that for us, but on a grander scale.
Let’s go on a nice date and then engrave our love on a blockchain at the end of the day. An eternal supply of cryptocurrency is what dreams are made of these days. We are tired of dreaming; we want to live this life for real. So will you be our Valentine? We want lands in the metaverse and rare NFT collections. With you as our love, the crypto to afford this life will never be a problem.
You know how they say, “love should not feel like hard work”? Well, it should not just be love. Life itself should not feel like hard work. And if there’s the slightest chance that we can spend our existence with someone that makes life easier for us, we are jumping straight at it.
Dear Eden Life, we know you have mastered using tech to put home chores on autopilot. We want to live a ‘soft life’ with you. With you as a lover, we would never have to worry about food, cleaning, or laundry. So be our Valentine, and let’s toast to the ‘soft life’.
Dear Vetifly, the saying “love is in the air” will be literal with you as our valentine, and our love will only ever soar. In this madhouse called Lagos, where everything moves but the traffic, we would like to be relieved of that stress. Together, we can adore the beauty of the serpentine third mainland bridge and the vastness of the water body beneath it. Maryland has no helipad, but who cares? Let this love fly first. We will discuss ways to land later.
Dear Kumusha, we have always longed for love better than wine. But it turns out that wine is the answer after all – your wine. Our dearest, you will always remind us of home – the place we first received love. With you, every date night, family reunion, and owambe will have a touch of luxury. The best part is, we can be rest assured that, like ageing wine, our love would only get better with time.
Shakespeare defined love as “An ever-fixed mark that does not alter with his brief hours and weeks. But bears it out even to the edge of doom.” We all want a love we would age and retire with, in good health and wealth. That love is you, Leadway. You are everyone’s dream partner, a wealthy visionary. Nothing beats long-term financial security, and with you by our side, we know we’ll simply rest and be taken care of in old age. Be our sweet valentine, Leadway.
They say “money makes the world go round”. But it would be even better to have money that goes around the world. Dear Chipper Cash, you are entering our eyes. Crossing borders with you would be a dream come true. We would wine, shop, and dine and pay with ease. Be our Valentine, let’s catch flights. That $2billion will not spend itself.
Written by Adekunle Agbetiloye and Oluwatosin Ogunjuyigbe