When Abena and Kojo posted their pre-wedding photos on social media, the Ghanaian couple did not anticipate the amount of attention they would receive. They especially did not expect the slew of vile comments concerning their pictures, spewed across several blogs and media platforms where the photos were shared.

“She’s very fat.”

“My dear, hit the gym to keep your man …”

“Trailer vs Keke.”

These offensive comments were posted directly under Kojo’s Facebook post and couldn’t be more contrasting to the lovely message that accompanied the photos. “You have always guided me when I was wrong. You came into my life and totally changed my world,” Kojo wrote. “My heart does not belong any more to me. It’s given away to you. My baby, my heart, my world you are the best I’ve ever had.”

While there were a lot of congratulatory messages and quotes on true love, some comments were just downright insulting. “He’s an idiot,” one commenter said. Another referred to Abena, his bride-to-be, as a “Hippo.” Others said they were impressed by the fact that Kojo “settled” for a plus-sized woman. As if he asked for, or needed their validation.

Fitting in is highly overrated. Fit out.

Quite frankly, the internet’s reaction to the couple’s photo is not so surprising. We live in a superficial world where there are unreasonable stereotypes. Society dictates what the “ideal couple” should look like and the media defines what the standard body type should be – skinny and toned up. Anything other than that is considered unworthy.

A few days ago, 15 time Grammy award winner, Alicia Keys, penned down her thoughts on societal stereotyping. “Before I started my new album, I wrote a list of all the things that I was sick of. And one was how much women are brainwashed into feeling like we have to be skinny, or sexy, or desirable, or perfect,” she stated in the essay.

The musical icon who recently released a series of makeup free photos for her new album said she was weary of the cover-up; of trying to conform to what society dictated. In the essay titled, Alicia Keys: Time to Uncover, she wrote, “One of the many things I was tired of was the constant judgment of women. The constant stereotyping through every medium that makes us feel like being a normal size is not normal, and heaven forbid if you’re plus-size. Or the constant message that being sexy means being naked.”

Don’t apologize for yourself. And do not agree with people who seek to label you with stereotypes.

“I love her size…almost everything about her makes me love her,” Kojo said in a Facebook interview with Ghanaian blogger, Kwadjo Panyin. Kojo, a construction engineer had met nurse Abena at the University of Ghana hospital where she worked, a year-and-a-half ago. He had gone to visit a sick relative at the time and when he was given a prescription, he approached Abena for help and things pretty much kicked off from there.

“Prince (Kojo) came to visit a sick relative whilst I was doing my usual rounds, he approached me with a prescription for help. He really appreciated everything I did for him then, we became friends…and here I have my Prince Charming,” Abena told popular Nigeria wedding bloggers, BellaNaija Weddings.

For decades, being slim has been the unquestioned standard of beauty and health. This has led to widespread eating disorders, body dissatisfaction and even depression. But now, people are beginning to question “The Thin Ideal” as more women like Abena are beginning to embrace their full-figured selves. In the same spirit, men like Kojo have ceased to idealise and idolise what body image society dictates to them.

“She is always happy with how she looks,” Kojo said of Abena. “She doesn’t care about what people say about her. Never.”

It is sad and unfortunate that a majority of people are still greatly influenced by societal pressures. This explains why they can’t see past Abena’s body size and appreciate the genuine love and happiness the couple share. In truth, you will be doing yourself a great disservice if you allow society dictate to you, or if you are constantly seeking to conform because “those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it.”

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