In what many have described as a publicity stunt, Tunji Balogun, a.k.a. TeeBillz, the husband and manager of Nigerian songstress, Tiwa Savage, has kept Nigeria’s Twittersphere and Instagram abuzz all day. Earlier in the day, the seemingly depressed talent manager went on a tirade on Instagram, accusing his wife of infidelity and his mother in-law of witchcraft. There were also hints of suicidal thoughts in his posts, as he also pointed out the fear of not being a good enough father to his children. Yet, all everyone did was laugh and make jokes.

Nigeria’s reaction to his emotional outburst was typical, as is always in such situations; hilarious memes and gaffes along with several theories on what his posts were about. The first, and most common accusation being that it is all a lie and a ploy to stir up controversy. TeeBillz and Tiwa are being accused of trying to pull off a JayZ and Beyonce Lemonade stunt for publicity, given the fact that the Mavin first lady just released a new single with one of her alleged lovers, Dr. Sid. On the other hand, those who believe his story have taken to slut shaming Tiwa Savage and referencing the lyrics in some of her songs as clues/hints of her infidelity. While others jeered at TeeBillz, and made a mockery of celebrity marriages.

Although, the incriminating posts have since been deleted, with TeeBillz stating that his account was hacked, there is certainly a deeper issue at hand. One that only a few Nigerians addressed in the conversation surrounding the events of this morning. What if all of it were true? What if TeeBillz is frustrated with his marriage, and is depressed as well as suicidal? It is somewhat disturbing that very few Nigerians asked these questions, that very few people seemed to care or acknowledge that a man was hurting, or could be hurting in a relationship. Would this be the case were the tables turned, and Tiwa was on the other end?

If anything, the events of today reflect a collective flawed perspective on gender, where men are seen as incapable of being emotional or unsatisfied both in and outside a relationship. Society has painted them as villains, and the women as victims. In some way, the reaction to TeeBillz’ outburst is not surprising, as even our culture frowns at an emotional man. Parents teach their sons not to cry, not to feel, with the popular phrase, “Be a man. Men don’t cry.” So young boys grow up believing it is a taboo to show emotion as they don’t want to be referred to as effeminate. They grow into men with ages of suppressed emotions, yet we wonder why women live longer. Clearly, there needs to be a shift in the way we educate our boy child, and in the way we see things. Crying or being emotional does not emasculate a man.

Another disturbing  issue is the fact that Nigerians generally do not take depression seriously. We refuse to acknowledge the fact that it is a serious medical condition. Even more ridiculous is the belief that depression, if at all an illness, is one that is suffered only by westerners. But in truth, that is not case. Clinical depression has been proven and presented as a brain disorder.  And it cuts across all races and geographical locations. Both environmental and psychological factors contribute to depression; hence, if anything, Nigerians are more likely to be depressed given the hardship that constantly plagues the country.

In the article: Depression In Nigeria, A National Concern, Oladogba Wale, admits that although data on the prevalence of depression in Nigeria is very limited, there were over 700  recorded cases of depression in Nigeria in 2011 and 2012. “The vast majority of people with depression don’t report to health facilities, so the problem is far greater than those seen in health facilities,” he said, imploring people to speak about it and write about it.

Quite a number of  Nigerians struggle with depression but are afraid to speak up because people supposedly don’t get depressed in Nigeria. We need to stop living in denial, and embrace this truth to defeat the stigma attached to this disorder. Recent reports on the events of this morning does indicate that TeeBillz is truly depressed and suicidal, while this is yet to be validated, Nigerians should move past shallow conversations on social media to address deep-seated issues.

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