According to Tanzanian law, same sex marriage is prohibited. But, nyumba ntobhu, a tradition which allows marriages by people of the same sex, is practiced exclusively by women in rural areas of Tanzania. Older women who engage in this type of union are either widowed, divorced, childless or have borne only daughters, so they become ‘husbands’. Tanzanian women often engage in this practice when they want to protect property or inheritance, that would otherwise go to the male relative.
In the Mara region of western Tanzania, an older woman can pay a dowry for a younger woman and although they co-habit, there are no sexual relations. In this female-led marriage, the ‘wife’ is allowed to bear children with a male relative, and though fathered by the relative, the child rightfully belongs to the women.
This practice is also popular in Igbo culture in southeastern Nigeria. Women marry other women, so that they can boycott the customary laws that prevent them from claiming their inheritance. Domestic violence is another reason why some women across Africa, adopt this style of marriage.
Customary laws are unwritten traditions and cultural practices, peculiar to a community and are passed down from one generation to another. Across Africa, customary laws are usually disadvantageous to women.
The women of Gusii, a rural village in Kenya, are not permitted under customary law to own a land, cattle or other assets if they do not bear sons. They are also dependent on their men for basic needs such as food, clothing and shelter. Women in these communities can leave their husbands and marry other women. As in rural areas of Kenya, women in these marriages are allowed male partners. If they have male children then they can inherit any property that the women are entitled to. Another advantage is that a woman in this kind of relationship, is allowed to inherit her partner’s property if she dies. This has resulted in an increase in the number of female-led marriages. The Nandi, Kipsigis, Keiyo, Kuria and Akamba communities (all in Kenya), also practice this kind of marriage.
For a continent in which many generally promote the idea that marriage is only between a man and a woman, it might be quite interesting to discover that same sex marriages are actually culturally indigenous across the continent. The use of phrase ‘against African culture’ to reinforce a strict definition of marriage between a man and a woman falls apart in the face of evidence that possibly 10 percent of African women are married to other women. It further supports the idea that marriage is in many ways a social contract designed to enable the sharing of economic resources. Women often find themselves at a disadvantage in society when it comes to distribution income and resources, especially in many heavily patriarchal African societies. These different forms of marriage provide women with a means of empowerment while also suggesting that African societies have a more fluid idea of the social construct than even Africans are ready to admit.
These same sex marriages allowed by customary law have very little to do with sexual orientation and more to do with the social and economic empowerment of women, in many cases allowing them to own property and engage in business without the fear of having to remit their profits to a male family head. Women who engage in this practice have also become community leaders, lecturing other women on ways to handle domestic violence, how to trade and become more independent in a male controlled communities.
These women that have reclaimed their inheritance and are growing their own wealth disprove the myth that African women are passive members of society. Their success also shows that not all traditional practices are disadvantageous to African women.
