“There are lots of myths about social media relationships. Whilst some say they don’t work and should not be taken seriously, I had a totally different experience,” said Murtala Mohamed Kamara.

Two years ago, Aisha Adamu was searching for her brother on Facebook; they lived in different states and she wanted to add him as a friend. She didn’t find her brother, but she found a namesake and decided to add him anyway. “I don’t have any friend on Facebook that bears the same name with my brother – Murtala – I just decided to add him,” she told me during our  Skype interview.

Aisha’s attempt at starting a conversation with her new Facebook friend was snubbed, so she let him be. Her new friend had quite a following, so there was little room for her to be noticed. Not that she was seeking anything special anyway. For about seven months, there was no communication, until the snub initiated a conversation. According to him, “I noticed that she was different from most of the other girls. So I said let me pay special attention to her.”

Aisha is from a family of 11; seven siblings from two mothers. As a Muslim, Mr. Adamu is entitled to four wives, but he settled for just two, Aisha’s mum, and a second wife. They each have four children. As is the tradition of the Hausa’s, the girls are married off early, sometimes, too early. So at 26, Aisha was already under a lot of pressure from her family to bring home a husband, especially since her younger sister was married. “You know our tradition,” she said to me. “In some tribes they don’t disturb their daughters about this issue (marriage) until they are ready. But because of my age, coupled with the fact that my younger sister was married, my family kept insisting that I bring someone home.” So she told them of Murtala, her Facebook friend. The shock. We ask you to bring home a husband, and you’re telling us of some man in a faraway land, whom you’ve never met. Her family thought she was losing it; her father said she was talking nonsense, while her mum laughed it off as a joke. No one believed her.

As days rolled into weeks, and weeks into months, Aisha insisted on Murtala. Her father advised her against the idea many times, but she was adamant, she had fallen in love with a ‘stranger’. Her father was livid and wouldn’t speak to her for days. How could his first child cause him so much pain? “He got mad at me. For more than two days, he didn’t speak to me.” Even her mother tried to act as a mediator, “but she failed. He won’t even listen to her,” Aisha explained. After a number of back and forth conversations with her parents, her father ordered that this ‘stranger’ be investigated, and her maternal uncle who lived in Sierra Leone was tasked with playing James Bond. “When he investigated, he told my parents that Murtala is a good man from a good family, so they should not be worried.” With that, her father conceded, but not without giving her an ultimatum. If Murtala loved her, he’ll show up and marry her, otherwise, he wouldn’t, and she would stop her crazy talk.

Murtala Mohamed Kamara is a young Sierra Leonean journalist, and publisher of SaloneJamboree, an Arts and Entertainment magazine. He is also a youth leader – a former Curator of the Global Shapers Community in Freetown. His job puts him on the road a lot, and brings him in contact with a diverse lot of people. This explains his huge followership on Facebook – over 5000. In a recent attempt to add him as a friend, I became a follower too – Murtala had reached his ‘friend limit’. When he puts up a post, he gets over 200 likes and 50 comments. One of his posts has over 2000 likes, and over 500 comments. It’s the picture of a child holding a placard with the words “MAY GOD END #EBOLA IN SALONE.” It is therefore easily understandable how he could ignore a conversation on his timeline.

As a young, successful, good-looking journalist, who’s in the business of meeting people, Murtala has dated quite a number of women. He confessed to me that girls clamoured for his attention, and he’s dated more than one at a time. “According to them, I am their ‘dream husband’. His relationship of about seven years with the mother of his son didn’t work out either. He was upset, and decided he wanted to settle down. Coincidentally, it was around this time he started to notice Aisha. “I noticed she had some of the qualities I sought in a wife.” Murtala was spying on her social media activities, and keeping tabs. He observed that Aisha wasn’t flashy, she seemed humble, and above all, very religious. They chatted more often, and even exchanged numbers. The more they talked, his interest in Aisha deepened, and he thought, “She could be the one.” But Murtala wouldn’t take such a big decision without consulting his maker. He prayed about it, and one night, he got an answer. “I saw someone like her (Aisha) in my dream, and God said she is the one.”

The young journalist spared no time. At dawn, he called to ask Aisha whether or not she was in a serious relationship. When she said “no”, he proposed to her over the phone. Murtala had always asked Allah to give him a devout Muslim for a wife, a woman that is religious and “fears God.” According to Murtala, Aisha was the embodiment of his dream, the answer to his prayers. When he got to the office that day, he shared his story with his colleagues – how he decided to marry some girl he met on Facebook. They dismissed him with laughter. One of his colleagues – a Gambian – who is a Muslim as well and a really good friend called him unserious even after showing him the picture of Aisha. For this friend, the fact that Murtala met someone on social media was secondary. He knew Murtala’s ‘got game’ with the ladies, and not someone with thoughts of settling down. “When I called him and discussed my proposal to Aisha, he said “you’re not serious,” because he knows my past way of life. That was the past, you know.” Murtala said with slight apprehension.

With his mind made up, Murtala informed his parents of his intentions to marry a Nigerian girl. His mum was quite supportive and asked him to pray and seek Allah’s guidance. But his dad, not so much. He didn’t understand why his son couldn’t find a nice Sierra Leonean girl to grow old with. He was also concerned for his son’s safety. Aisha resided in Bauchi – a north-eastern state recently infamous for Boko Haram attacks – and this meant that if Murtala were to marry her, he would have to journey to Bauchi, his father didn’t like the thought of that and wouldn’t consent. He suggested his son find a wife in Sierra Leone. But Murtala wouldn’t have it, and sought the assistance of some of his father’s friends who were able to convince him after a while to let his son go for it.

Having received both parent’s blessings, Murtala prepared to embark on a journey to meet his bride to be, but it seemed the odds were against him as his flight to Nigeria got cancelled a couple of times due to regulations put in place to check Ebola. November 2014 was the toughest month for Ebola in Sierra Leone with over 100 new cases in a single day. During this period, Aisha people thought, “We told you so. This man isn’t showing up because he isn’t real.” However, he was finally able to make the trip from Sierra Leone to Abuja. He was supposed to board another plane to Bauchi, but the flight from Abuja to Bauchi was cancelled due to poor weather and Murtala was asked to wait till the next day. “But I was in a hurry to see Aisha. I was so excited, I asked a staff at the airport about the trip from Abuja to Bauchi by road.” Though he was advised not to go by road due to security issues, Murtala did not heed. How could he? He was going to meet the woman he loved for the first time- what’s a few hours on the road?  He told the airport staff, “Just help me get a taxi. I want to travel.” The airport staff warned, “This is risky. It’s your first time.”  But he decided to take the risk. It was Murtala’s second time in Nigeria, but his first trip to northern Nigeria.

Murtala got a taxi from the airport to the motor park where he boarded a bus heading to Bauchi from Abuja. As expected, the trip was hectic, and very often interrupted by army checkpoints along the way. Due to the insurgence, the Nigerian military have taken over most north eastern states. According to Murtala, there were over 40 check points on the road from Abuja to Bauchi. But none of these deterred him, “it’s worth the risk,” he said. “I’m willing to sacrifice everything for her.” Halfway through the journey, Murtala’s phone battery died and he lost contact with Aisha, but a young Nigerian let him use his phone. With that, he was in communication with his bride to be till he got to Bauchi at about 2am in the morning.

Murtala described their meeting, “When I met her for the first time in the heart of Bauchi, it was like a dream to her, and a dream come true for me.” Aisha was in tears; though she had been waiting for this, she couldn’t believe it was actually happening. It was surreal. “When I saw him coming, I couldn’t even look into his eyes,” narrated Aisha. She had gone to pick Murtala from the park, along with a friend and her friend’s parents. “I couldn’t believe it,” she said. Aisha asked Murtala why he had gone through great lengths to meet her, his reply was nothing short of what is read and heard in books and movies, only this time, it was real life. “If I have to do this again, five more times just to win your heart, I’ll do it.” Murtala meant every word, and all Aisha could do was cry.

After a long hectic day, Murtala headed straight for his hotel. Everything was set, including food prepared by Aisha. After a much needed shower, food and water, Aisha headed home and Murtala went to sleep; they both had a huge day, or rather, week, ahead of them. If Murtala thought showing up was good enough, and that he would waltz in, sweep Aisha of her feet, impress her family and take her away, then he thought wrong.

Later that day, he was at Aisha’s home to meet her family, after he had been placed on the hot seat and answered several questions, they asked him to come with his people, as is the tradition of most Nigerian ethnicity. In this case, Murtala’s family were in Sierra Leone. He couldn’t afford to travel with them, due to Ebola and financial expenses, considering the difficulty experienced on his part alone. Murtala was given an ultimatum, either brings his family, or no wedding. They wouldn’t give their daughter to a stranger.

Murtala’s father once had a Nigerian friend based in Kano state, and though he passed away, both families kept in close contact through the years. Before Murtala embarked on his journey to Nigeria, his parents had informed their friends in Kano, and they had promised to stand on his parent’s behalf, “They said they will represent my family there,” and they did. But at their arrival the next day, Aisha’s people didn’t want a substitute family, they wanted to see Murtala’s parents, his real family.

After much pleading and explanation, they opted to speak with his father over the phone. But when he returned the following day, they had a change of heart, they didn’t want an over-the-phone conversation; they wanted him in Bauchi. Murtala was frustrated, and Aisha devastated. This was supposed to the beginning of their fairy-tale, but it was slowly turning out to be a nightmare for them both. “I was so frustrated, but Aisha told me to be strong. She was always supportive, telling me that everything will be fine.

Aisha was tired of the ‘ping pong game’ played by her family. She called on her step mum, crying, “I made her understand how I truly felt about the whole drama.” Her step mum called for a family meeting one early morning and asked that Aisha be allowed to go with Murtala. Her ground was that Aisha wants to do a good thing – marriage – and do it right. Otherwise she would have eloped, and could elope with Murtala if they didn’t consent to the marriage. “She asked the family to be supportive otherwise I would do something wrong.” She also said that since Murtala had a well-respected family who could vouch for him, present, they should give their blessings. Aisha’s step mum must have given that address with the oratory skill of Obama because it worked. The family decided to put an end to the lovers’ misery, they finally accepted Murtala’s proposal four days after his arrival at Bauchi.

Once Aisha’s family said yes, things happened fast. The following day, the wedding – Fatihah — was underway, but the groom was absent, and represented by his uncle. “I was out trying to arrange for her flight ticket,” Murtala said. “Considering what I went through, I thought, “I need to do this fast before they change their mind.” He wanted to take his wife home, he didn’t want to leave anything to chance, so he went to get Aisha’s flight ticket. It was not a strange occurrence for him to be absent at his own wedding. In certain parts of Nigeria, a marriage ceremony can be held with the groom in absentia, all that’s needed is a representative – an uncle, brother, or relative. In recent times, brides have even dared to marry photo representations of the groom.

Typically, after the Fatihah, which is traditionally done at the mosque, or at the bride’s home, the reception — Walimah — would follow, but there was no Walimah for the couple. Murtala arrived after the wedding rites and formalities had been concluded to whisk his bride away, but not before the families offered up prayers to Allah for the couple.

The couple left Bauchi that same day, and arrived Sierra Leone a few days later, after some flight glitches, and unplanned road trips. Aisha got a most rousing welcome from her in-laws, according to her, “it was the perfect welcome.” “They welcomed me like I was their own daughter, it felt like they’ve always known me,” said a cheery Aisha, who travelled light, but arrived to see a bunch of clothes waiting for her, courtesy of Murtala’s elder sister. “All that I needed was set, I couldn’t be happier.”

Aisha settled into the role of a wife and mother effortlessly. It was love at first sight for her and Ali, Murtala’s five year old son. The immediate connection between the two of them amazed Murtala who’s been anxious about their meeting. “Once we got home, I watched their first meeting to see how they would connect because I was worried as a husband for Aisha, and as a father, for Ali. But to my surprise, they clicked, they are best friends now. I can only say it was the work of God.”

Aisha loves being a wife to Murtala, and a mother to Ali. For her, the life she lives now, is a dream come true. Growing up, she’d always prayed to be married to a good and honest man, who would be her best friend, and for her Murtala is all this and more. He likes to think of himself as a contemporary Muslim man who does not want a second wife, and with a woman like Aisha, “who needs a second wife?” “She’s the best person any man could have for a wife. Everything I’d ever wanted in a wife, she has,” explained Murtala. His mother confirmed this when I talked with her, “She’s a good wife,” she said in Creole. “And I thank God for her.  She treats me well, she loves my family, and she holds us together,” Aisha’s mother in-law gushed.

It’s been two years since Murtala Mohamed Kamara accepted Aisha’s friend request on Facebook, and eight months since the couple tied the knot in April. Social media romance has become somewhat of a paradox. Many are skeptical because they can’t quite understand how people can fall in love online, of all places, while others understand the internet as a dimension that is influencing the ways we think, feel and ultimately love, whether we like it or not. Murtala and Aisha’s love story is riveting not because they met online, but because through that space they were able to do something radical- fall in love with the partner of their choice. As we become more attached to our phones, laptops and digital watches, their story is a breath of fresh air, which reminds us that technology can facilitate the most human of all emotions- love.